Did liberals put Taylor Swift and pro-vaccine Travis Kelce in the Super Bowl? Yes, we did. (2024)

We made it so Chiefs players would play their best football once they got into the playoffs. We also paid off the Chiefs' opponents with offers of Cabinet positions in the next Biden administration.


As soon as the Kansas City Chiefs, D-Taylor Swift, beat the Baltimore Ravens to advance to the Super Bowl, right-wing thought leaders flooded social media announcing the NFL is rigged and in the bag for Democrats.

Laura Loomer, a MAGA loyalist whom Donald Trump just last year called “terrific,” posted on what used to be Twitter: “The Democrats’ Taylor Swift election interference psyop is happening in the open… It’s not a coincidence that current and former Biden admin officials are propping up Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. They are going to use Taylor Swift as the poster child for their pro-abortion GOTV Campaign.”

Vivek Ramaswamy, former GOP presidential candidate and possible Trump VP pick, wrote: “I wonder who’s going to win the Super Bowl next month. And I wonder if there’s a major presidential endorsem*nt coming from an artificially culturally propped-up couple this fall.”

Trump supporter Mike Crispi wrote, “The NFL is totally RIGGED for the Kansas City Chiefs, Taylor Swift, Mr. Pfizer (Travis Kelce). All to spread DEMOCRAT PROPAGANDA. Calling it now: KC wins, goes to Super Bowl, Swift comes out at the halftime show and ‘endorses' Joe Biden with Kelce at midfield. It's all been an op since day one.”

'Asset Tay': Fox News' Jesse Watters ruins Taylor Swift psy-op unit meant to reelect Biden

MAGA Republicans quickly get to the bottom of Taylor Swift/Democratic conspiracy

As a liberal in good standing, all I can say is: Dammit, how did they figure it out?

I guess some of it was obvious. Pop superstar Swift has encouraged young people to register to vote and get involved in the electoral process, while her Chiefs tight-end boyfriend Travis Kelce has encouraged people to get vaccinated to protect themselves and others from a deadly and wildly contagious virus. Those are pretty liberal things to do.

But I didn’t think right-wing sleuths would connect the dots this quickly.

Oh well. The vaccinated cat is out of the reusable shopping bag, so I might as well let everyone in on the entire plan.

How liberals rigged the NFL to help reelect President Joe Biden

Yes, the Swift/Kelce relationship was cooked up by a panel of high-ranking Democratic activists as a psychological operation intended to bolster support for liberal causes and the reelection of President Joe Biden.

Taylor Swift isn't ruining the NFL: Taylor Swift simply being at NFL playoff games has made the sport better. Deal with it.

We first thought using Kelce – from a Midwestern team that, thanks to its Native American cultural appropriation, isn’t viewed as “woke” – would provide cover. But then we decided having him do an ad for Pfizer encouraging people to get the COVID-19 vaccine made more sense.

After all, the more shots we got in people’s arms, the more implanted microchips we would have to manipulate individual voter behavior. (And yes, we did use a tiny drone to blow out New York Jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers’ Achilles tendon at the beginning of the season. It was necessary to take a prominent anti-vaxxer off the board.)

Next, we made the Chiefs play poorly for a portion of the season, casting doubt that the Super Bowl champions could make it back to the big game.

We played up the Swift/Kelce romance, knowing it would lure legions of impressionable young people to the NFL, which actually stands for “Need to Federalize Liberalism.”

Rigging the NFL was surprisingly easy. San Francisco was a ruse.

Then, thanks to brilliant scripting, we made it so the Chiefs players would play their best football once they got into the playoffs. We also paid off the Chiefs’ opponents with offers of Cabinet positions in the next Biden administration.

(For an added wrinkle, we decided the Chiefs would face a team from one of the most liberal places in the country: San Francisco. Genius!)

And now, the stage is set for the operation’s final phase: the Super Bowl halftime show.

Super Bowl halftime show will be an explosion of liberalism

We’ve planted reports that Swift will be finishing an Eras tour concert in Tokyo and will barely have time to make it back to Las Vegas to attend the Super Bowl. (In reality, she’ll be attending her weekly Wokeness Strategy Session with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.)

Once halftime arrives, – the artist we’ve been saying will perform – will come out briefly and shout, “LIBERAL AMERICA! PLEASE WELCOME, TAYLOR SWIFT!”

Swift will be lifted up from below the stage on a diamond-studded platform bearing the letters “DEI.”

From high above, a giant syringe with the word “Pfizer” emblazoned on it will begin to descend. Atop the syringe will be Kelce’s brother, Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce, dancing shirtless with the words “SOCIALISM RULES!” painted on his torso.

Las Vegas Super Bowl halftime show will thoroughly brainwash voters

Swift will perform several new songs, including “You Need to Calm Down (And Vote for Joe Biden),” “Shake Trump Off” and “Look What You Made Me Do (I Welcomed an Immigrant).”

She will then rip off her own face, revealing that she has, this entire time, been Vice President Kamala Harris. Biden will join her on stage and together they’ll hit a button, causing an enormous flash of light that will turn everyone watching the game gay. Confetti made up of coupons for free abortions will fall on the cheering Las Vegas crowd before the game resumes and the Chiefs emerge victorious.

So, there you have it. It was all going to be a fun surprise, but the right-wing cognoscenti had to go and ruin it by figuring it out.

Doesn’t matter. The plan is in action. Say goodbye to your beautiful country, MAGA. It’s about to be all ours!

FollowUSA TODAY columnist Rex Huppkeon X, formerlyTwitter,@RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

Insights, advice, suggestions, feedback and comments from experts

As an expert and enthusiast, I have personal experiences or beliefs. However, I can provide information on the concepts mentioned in this article. Let's break down the concepts mentioned in the article:

Kansas City Chiefs

The Kansas City Chiefs are a professional American football team based in Kansas City, Missouri. They are a member of the National Football League (NFL) and compete in the league's American Football Conference (AFC) West division. The Chiefs have a successful history and have won multiple Super Bowl championships.

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift is a popular American singer-songwriter. She is known for her narrative songwriting and has achieved significant success in the music industry. Swift has a large fan base and has won numerous awards throughout her career.

Baltimore Ravens

The Baltimore Ravens are a professional American football team based in Baltimore, Maryland. They are a member of the NFL and compete in the league's AFC North division. The Ravens have also won multiple Super Bowl championships.

Super Bowl

The Super Bowl is the championship game of the NFL. It is played annually on the first Sunday in February and determines the league champion for that season. The game is highly anticipated and attracts a large television audience. The halftime show during the Super Bowl is known for featuring popular musical performances.

Democrats and Republicans

Democrats and Republicans are the two major political parties in the United States. The Democratic Party is generally associated with more liberal policies, while the Republican Party is generally associated with more conservative policies. Political discussions and debates often involve these two parties and their respective ideologies.

Psychological Operation (Psy-op)

A psychological operation, often abbreviated as psy-op, is a form of communication or information dissemination intended to influence the emotions, attitudes, and behavior of a target audience. Psy-ops can be used for various purposes, including political, military, or social manipulation.

COVID-19 Vaccine

The COVID-19 vaccine refers to vaccines developed to protect against the coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19). These vaccines have been developed and authorized for emergency use to help prevent the spread of the virus and reduce the severity of the illness.

Microchips and Voter Behavior Manipulation

The mention of implanted microchips and manipulating individual voter behavior in the article is not based on factual information. There is no evidence to support the claim that COVID-19 vaccines are being used to implant microchips or manipulate voter behavior.

San Francisco

San Francisco is a city in California, known for its cultural diversity and liberal-leaning politics. It is often associated with progressive movements and has a reputation for being one of the most liberal cities in the United States.

Super Bowl Halftime Show

The Super Bowl halftime show is a highly anticipated performance that takes place during the halftime break of the Super Bowl game. It often features popular musical artists and elaborate production numbers. The halftime show is known for its entertainment value and attracts a large audience.

Please note that the information provided above is based on general knowledge and does not specifically address the claims made in this article.

Did liberals put Taylor Swift and pro-vaccine Travis Kelce in the Super Bowl? Yes, we did. (2024)


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